Quick Evony Update

Since I’ve mentioned Evony here before, I thought I ought to link to Bruce on Games on Evony, which reveals all sortsa interesting things about the game, including the fact that the curvy females in their ads are apparently ripped off from like lingerie catalogs, and the Evony owners are aggressively spamming all sorts of gaming-related venues to try to lure more players in.

zomg hax.

Play DISCREETLY on your browser NOW!

Play Now, my Lord, she moaned

"Play Now, my Lord," she moaned

So like everyone else I’ve been seeing these Evony ads on every third webpage that I visit (including various personal web pages that subscribe to whatever ad syndication network(s) the Evony folks are saturating), and my well-ingrained ad-ignoring filters had been leading me to ignore them, when suddenly yesterday I noticed one.

It was probably able to overcome my filters because of the subtly-faded map with the words “Friesland” and “Lower Lorraine” almost visible; exotic-sounding placenames and faded maps are good. Or it might have been the swooning woman in the very lowcut gown. But anyway…

When it’s running live (unlike the frozen snap to the right there), the ad has changing text, that says things like “Play DISCREETLY on your browser NOW!” and “Play Now, my Lord”. The subtle keywords there (“discreetly”, “Lord”), and the boobie-imagery made me think: “Hey cool! Finally a Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game based on high-resolution soft-core pornography! Good stuff!”.

I’m always interested in that sort of edgy cultural phenomenon, don’t’cha know.

Sadly, a quick search turned up a good review of the game, that reveals that it is neither high-resolution nor in any way pornographic. It is in fact a Flash-based version of the eight-thousand simple little “gather resources and build barracks and invent the crossbow and make armies” games that have been out for general purpose computers in non-Web formats since like 1972.

Oh, well!

If anyone happens to notice an actual Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game based on high-resolution soft-core pornography, drop me a line. Wouldn’t want to miss any important cultural developments…